A first date can be a bit of a minefield. You’re trying to impress, while also evaluating compatibility.
Your body language and facial expressions are just as important as the words you say. For instance, don’t fold your arms or stare like a zombie. Instead, lean in every now and then to show your interest.
1. Don’t talk about your ex
When you bump into an ex, it can be a very emotional moment. Depending on how it went down, you could feel pangs of nostalgia or a flicker of hope for second chances.
Regardless of how the relationship ended, it is best to treat them like any other person. It is the only way to be respectful of them and their current partner.
When you run into your ex, avoid asking them how they’re doing or trying to engage in any type of conversation about the past. It is better to simply greet them with a friendly hello and then move on. This will show that you are mature and responsible. It will also keep the situation from becoming too tense and awkward. Then, you can go on to your next date with confidence!
2. Don’t talk about your job
While it is good to talk about your date’s interests and hobbies, there are some topics better left off a first date. For instance, asking them about their job can feel like an intrusive inquisition.
If you really want to learn more about her, ask a different question like:
“Do you enjoy your job? How do you like working with your team/boss/clients?”
It may also be a bit off-putting to discuss hot button issues such as politics on a first date. While it is important to have shared values, this isn’t the best way to determine if you are compatible. This can quickly become a heated conversation that leaves you both feeling defensive and unable to connect.
4. Don’t talk about your religion
A first date is a big opportunity to see if you and your date have the same interests. This includes things like religion, family values, and even political beliefs.
While it is important to be able to discuss these topics in the future, you should not dive into them on your first date. Instead, you should ask your date questions about these subjects and keep the conversation light.
For example, if your date talks about her religious beliefs, you can respond by saying, “That’s interesting. I have always been interested in different religions.” This will make your date feel flattered and will help you build rapport. It will also show that you respect her and her views. This is a hugely positive thing.
5. Don’t talk about your financial situation
Many experts agree that talking about money is one of the biggest taboos in relationships. But if you’re serious about the relationship, it’s important to get on the same page early on.
A first date may be an ideal time to learn about your date’s favorite guilty-pleasure movies and their favorite restaurants, but it’s not the right place to discuss any serious topics that could create tension or conflict. This includes politics, religion, and finances.
It’s fine to start by asking your date what their financial goals are (although it might be more productive to wait until a second or third date to go into specifics). For example, you could ask them if they have a savings plan or are working on paying down student debt.